A Rake's Progress

from the painting series 'A Rake's Progress' by William Hogarth
A Rake's Progress written and performed by Ryan J. Tressel

You’re only there when I fuck up. When I left my life a mess. You only catch the worst snapshots of me, like this was a Rake’s Progress. You only see me when I’m on my knees. It looks like prayer to you. I’m not asking for nothing I’m just weak—standing is more than I can do. Where were you when the sun shone through? When oceans turned mountains to sand? Where’d you go when I tried to grow into a man you could stand. Nobody noticed the bridge had fallen. The river just swallowed the brick. I loved you as much as the water could handle. I loved you until I was sick. The rain started Monday now it’s the day after never. I’m Noah submerged in the flood. I didn’t mean to let the whole dam fail. I thought hope would keep us dry enough. Where’s that fella with my umbrella? I’d give that bastard a hand. And you went missing after we were kissing back when I was a man you could stand. But you’re only there when I fuck up. You might as well be here all the time. It’s love we need to keep us freed. It’s love that keeps our hands tied. So I promise you nothing so you can expect it, nurture it like a child. And I’ll call the doctor say increase my morphine. I’ll pretend it’s your number I dialed. And I’ll find you at my waterloo. You’ll bleach my coat when I die. I’ll let paint dry and then I’ll watch you try.