Sad Girls

Sad Girls written & performed by Ryan J. Tressel

Sad girls move through the subway, get on the right trains. They're going home. But they don't look like they're so sure, maybe head instead to the airport. But they've never flown. They touch buttons on blouses as scumbags and louses meet all their softness with shove. Sad girls, oppressed by love. Sad girls listen on headphones to crooners like Tom Jones quietly moving their lips. They entertain such fancies like throwing their panties but they stay snug on their hips. They practice their curtsy with thoughts filthy and dirty the whore with the governess's gloves. Sad girls, oppressed by love. Home to their boyfriends, that's where the day ends, but they've got a DVR. I have made girls sad. I didn't mean to. I never do, but I've seen their face as I've robbed them of their joy, equal parts cold and coy, baleful and base. This world breaks all hearts and should tear us apart, but I still love them so. Besides, sadness is all that we know.

Splinter

Splinter written and performed by Ryan J. Tressel
The salt on your skin clung with a fervor that I did not possess. You said you'd grant me any three wishes, if only I could guess the shade of your eyes and the height of your tanline the way that your waves crash and crest against mine. Our kisses like brine. You seemed like the shore, defined by something else. You drew a line in the sand between everything and yourself and you sank like a dream in the flotsam and steam and you said we were one but I could see the seams. A roof without a center beam. Please don't remember me. You thought we would last but then came the winter. The man who loves you rests inside me, nagging like a splinter. It's too deep to handle like the wick of the candle that's buried in the wax. It's impervious to flame and won't respond to its name we're all turning our backs on them but not you but there's nothing to do the way you're both attached. So you can't control me and you can't convince me that I don't deserve less than nothing at all except the rise and the fall of the sun and the shame please don't mention my name, not even silently. Just don't remember me.

A Rake's Progress

from the painting series 'A Rake's Progress' by William Hogarth
A Rake's Progress written and performed by Ryan J. Tressel

You’re only there when I fuck up. When I left my life a mess. You only catch the worst snapshots of me, like this was a Rake’s Progress. You only see me when I’m on my knees. It looks like prayer to you. I’m not asking for nothing I’m just weak—standing is more than I can do. Where were you when the sun shone through? When oceans turned mountains to sand? Where’d you go when I tried to grow into a man you could stand. Nobody noticed the bridge had fallen. The river just swallowed the brick. I loved you as much as the water could handle. I loved you until I was sick. The rain started Monday now it’s the day after never. I’m Noah submerged in the flood. I didn’t mean to let the whole dam fail. I thought hope would keep us dry enough. Where’s that fella with my umbrella? I’d give that bastard a hand. And you went missing after we were kissing back when I was a man you could stand. But you’re only there when I fuck up. You might as well be here all the time. It’s love we need to keep us freed. It’s love that keeps our hands tied. So I promise you nothing so you can expect it, nurture it like a child. And I’ll call the doctor say increase my morphine. I’ll pretend it’s your number I dialed. And I’ll find you at my waterloo. You’ll bleach my coat when I die. I’ll let paint dry and then I’ll watch you try.